I’d bet you don’t normally take relationship advice from a total stranger, but since you are here, let’s dive right into it. Do you have enough sex?

That’s the multi-million-dollar question, isn’t it? How much sex is considered normal? And how much is too little? While the answer to your question will vary depending on who you ask, I’m going to play as a doctor and a survey expert and tell you what doctors, and people in general, consider too much or too little sex.

As long as you and your partner are comfortable, there is no such thing as too much sex. Comfortable is the key word here.

So, what qualifies as comfortable?

During sex, comfortable translates to the absence of pain. When you feel comfortable, and not sore or raw “down there,” then you aren’t having too much sex. If that changes, and you become uncomfortable, sore, or raw, then you should probably give your private bits a couple of days off. As a lady, when there is too much penetration or discharge of fluids, the vagina can get really dry, and without proper lubrication, vaginal tearing is definitely going to happen. This can lead to a lot of nasty things, and you might end up needing to see your gynecologist.

Men are not left out of this equation either. When a man ejaculates more than ten times in three days, he can experience some pain “down there” for a while. He might have trouble getting an erection, but after two or three incidents, he should be able to adapt to the demands of his sex schedule.

Some not so clear answers

Now that we’ve covered that area, let’s tackle the burning question on everyone’s mind. Do you have enough sex? Truthfully, there isn’t a straightforward answer to this question. As I said, it depends on who you ask. A doctor might tell you that as long as you are sexually active once in a while, then you are okay. Younger and more sexually active people will probably give you an excessive number that you can not possibly compete with.

Getting your own answers

Do you have enough sex?

The only person who can really answer that question is you. In my experience, most people inflate the number of sexual encounters they have on average. Surely, they might have loads of sex, but they will definitely add a body or two just to be sure that they don’t have a higher count than usual. I know this because I do it, and so do some of my friends. Bottom line is, you cannot take anything anybody says about sexual encounters at face value. They tend to exaggerate, and their numbers are not reliable or realistic.

In my experience, the real answer to this question lies with you. Without external influence, of course, if you feel utterly satisfied with your sexual life, then you have enough sex. If you have sex, say once per week, and you are ecstatic, then you are all good.

You can have more if your partner still needs to have some more sex, but don’t take your lack of desire as an indication of a weak sexual drive. We are different people inherently, and as such, we all have different sexual drives and requirements and honestly, if you aren’t enthusiastic about having sex, then you shouldn’t force yourself to have more.

Forcing yourself to have more sex when you are really uninterested can have the opposite effect on your sexual drive. It might end up seeming like more of a chore and less of a ceremony of pleasure.

Although I stand by what I said, real life is often far more complicated than all the words and theories out there. We know very well that sexuality is fluid, and so is the desire to have sex. Sometimes, we are very indifferent towards sex, and other times we want to keep going until the sun comes up. Regardless of how you feel, the same rule applies: If you are having sex and you want to have more, then you probably need to have more – but not until you cause a vaginal tear or something. If you go at it a few times and you are all filled up, then call it a night and don’t keep going just because it’s what is expected of you.

In summary, regardless of how wild you are, as long as you are happy and satisfied, then you are in the clear. You are the only one that can really determine if you have enough sex. Any external yardstick is just putting you in a corner and is not really helping you.